Hi Fiends! We’re making a series of GHOULIGANS! movies and we need a location!!!
LOCATION NEEDED: Long Island/New York- Comedy T.V. show seeks small to medium sized bar, warehouse or Industrial space for multiple day shoot in late October/early November. Need electric and restroom access. Some pay. Please message me if interested. Thank you!
Two events that chronicle the stuff I deal with here:
1) Why do certain people feel the need to live up (down?) to stereotypes? It’s continually made my life as an ethnic Jew much harder and my decision to abandon the faith and live as an open, ardent atheist much easier. Case in Point:
A fellow Jewish couple comes in to see the documentary we’re screening about Sholem Aleichem. The husband tells me “Look, I found a piece of jewelry in the parking lot. I want you to take down my name and number so the person calls me to get it back.” I start reaching for a piece of paper when my better judgement takes over and I say, “That’s really nice of you to find it, but won’t that person expect to find their missing item here?“
“That’s exactly why we’re telling you about it now!” the gentleman sighs while his wife nods in agreement.
“Okay,” I answer, “but we find people’s lost valuables all the time and keep them in our safe.”
“It’s not as good as my safe,” the smug semite asserts.
“In my time here, I’ve never lost anyone’s stuff and I think it’ll cause undue stress for the person missing their item if they have to jump through another hoop and call a complete stranger just to get their property back. I don’t think that’s responsible or the right thing to do.”
“We just feel more comfortable doing it this way.”
“Okay, I’ll take your name down, but I hope you realize that what you’re doing casts aspersions on me and the staff as thieves.”
“Oh, you’re ridiculous. Forget about it!“
The couple walks into their theater without giving me any more information and it becomes pretty obvious that they’re looking for a reward, not to do something altruistic. F*cking insane.
2) I have an awesome co-worker who doesn’t get nearly enough credit for the hard work she does in our office. She has a 6 year-old hyperactive son who shares the same birthday as I and he had a heckuva day at his summer camp. Before picking him up, she’d gotten a call that her son, after swim time, had decided to pretend that his penis was a fire hose and run around chasing all the other boys in his group with it. Naturally, my coworkers and I thought that this was genius and not something to punish, but rather to acknowledge that, while funny, is something that’s inappropriate and makes others uncomfortable.
Anyway, her son comes in after his abbreviated day at camp and his sneakers have completely fallen apart. I’m not sure how this happened, but over the past 2 weeks, I have somehow garnered a reputation as a ghetto tailor, repairing a 78 year old man’s broken belt by making suspenders out of twine and alligator clips last week. Today, I used duct tape to fashion new insoles for my co-worker’s son and to fix the outside, since the soles were falling off as well!
Someone should take the Army’s “It’s not a job, it’s an adventure” slogan away from them and give it to my theater.